current mood: contemplative
Faith must have adequate evidence, else it is mere superstition. - Alexander Hodge.
I often wonder at the faith of others, but then, I have always been one to tend toward the rational things in life, and I admit to placing higher value there. The concept, in and of itself, strikes me as most odd, believing in a thing that one cannot see, a force that, though it may exist out there somewhere, still has little impact on the daily events of my life as it were.
For me to believe, to really believe in a thing is hard, it's rare. I envy men who can, admire them, wish sometimes, I could achieve the same. It would be better, I think, highly better, to exist in a world where I were open to more possibilities, rather than the grim realities I see laid out before my very eyes, the grim realities I walk through in my life where fact, and only fact have proven to be of importance.
Perhaps I find faith difficult to understand because of this circumstance of my career and life. I know that at the times of chaos I have faced, when other men might have turned to what God they believed in, I looked only to myself and to the work I must do to rise up from it, make an effort, do something to avert disaster. Faith never entered that equation then, faith was never of an issue, only desperate acts a man might do in times of crisis when he's no one left to rely on but himself.
I'll not discount the presence of a God entirely, irrational as a part of me finds it, too much has happened in the lives of other men for me to debate that, but in my own life, I have had no such proof. Were I a different sort of man, I'd offer challenge, demand some sign that there are reasons to have faith, ask for solid proof, some real facts that would answer my most urgent questions regarding life, those things I've lost in it, those things I hope someday to gain.
But by demanding proof, I'll have discounted the entire idea of faith right there, I think, for it is the sort of thing which, to those who have it, needs no proof, no facts, no backing up of anything. I find, unfortunately, I am not that sort of man, I've hardly faith in myself some days, let alone something else. All the same, looking for facts in order to believe...no, that one does not sit right with me.
In faith, one either does or does not. Unfortunately, I do not. I may not like it much about myself, but that is how things must be.